She Screams In Silence

In the Queertet series, Maya is sort of overlooked. In Breeze, she gets with an argument with Taz about her ‘heterosexual fling.’ This is the real story behind it. What really happened that summer when Taz and Maya were broken up? This takes place the summer before they meet the Ducks. (Read this after reading Smoke, Snow and Breeze).

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Series: A separate addition of but related to The Mighty Queertet series

Summary: In the Queertet series, Maya is sort of overlooked. In Breeze, she gets with an argument with Taz about her ‘heterosexual fling.’ This is the real story behind it. What really happened that summer when Taz and Maya were broken up? This takes place the summer before they meet the Ducks. (Read this after reading Smoke, Snow and Breeze).

Dedication: To Star, of course! Thanks to her for being the greatest writer to ever hit the internet, and being MY co-writer! Oh yeah, and for letting me steal this little header, lol. Also to Saturniia for making the “Maya is a fifth-wheel” comment, it inspired me greatly. And finally to Aqua Lion and Stepherz for just being cool.

Disclaimer: I own everything in this story, except for Taz. She belongs to Star, and I’ll have her back before Star even notices she’s gone. Also, I don’t own Star Wars or anything else like that, if I mention them.

Notes: If you haven’t read “Smoke”, “Snow” and even the first bit of “Breeze” this won’t make sense. Well, it will, but it won’t be as interesting.


[nextpage title=”June 26″]
I had a really bad day. It’s getting harder to deal with it all, too. I accidentally slammed the fridge and broke a couple bottles. I had to clean up the whole mess by myself while getting screamed at by my mom. Then my dad gave me an hour-long lecture on how much my parents do for me and how I shouldn’t take them for granted after hearing me mumble something about my mom being a dumb bitch.

I think I should have stopped there. But I didn’t. I was in a horrible mood and I got into a couple more yelling matches with my mom.

Now I’m sitting on my bed with a numb arm. I can’t help it. Some people break things when they’re angry. I lash out on myself.

I never bleed. But I make these horrible scars that stay for weeks.

Taz would be upset. She hated seeing me like that, although it was never really as bad while we were in school.

I miss her. I wonder what she’s doing right now.

Probably not thinking about me.

We’ve been broken up for three weeks and she hasn’t called.

Not that I would expect her to after that last fight.

I roll over on my bed to face the wall. I feel a lump forming in my throat.

I remember what my counselor told me. Take a deep breath, count to 10, think of something that doesn’t make you upset.

I inhale slowly.

One…

Two…

Three…

Four…

Five…

Six…

Seven…

Eight…

Nine…

Ten.

Ok. Something that doesn’t make me upset.

Drama class! I’m taking a summer drama class, which is really good. It takes my mind off of all the other stuff. There is a bunch of cool people in the class. There’s my old friend from middle school, Allyson. She has this friend, Colby I think his name is. One those drama geeks, a real artsy guy. He wasn’t bad at all, I guess, but he kept giving me those creepy guy looks.

Yeah, sorry, not interested. I’m only interested in one person, and not only is she of the other gender, but…

The phone rings.

Maybe it’s Taz.

I scramble off of my bed and run for the phone.

“Hello?” I ask breathlessly.

“Hey!”

It’s not Taz. It’s Allyson.

“Oh. Hi Ally.” I hope I don’t sound too dismal.

“Listen, what are you doing after acting class tomorrow?”

Hmm, let’s see… feeling sorry for myself… missing Taz… writing random depressed thoughts into my already overfilled notebook…

“Why?” I’m not giving any answers until I know what she wants.

“Because we’re all going to go to Colby’s house and go swimming. His house is awesome, man you’d never believe it. He wanted to know if you could come!”

“He did?”

Ally giggles. “Uh huh! He thought you were really cute. So, you wanna come?”

Swimming with a good-looking guy that thinks I’m cute. What teenage girl wouldn’t say yes?

Me. That’s who wouldn’t say yes.

“I don’t know… I mean, I really don’t know him all too well, and I’d feel weird. Who else will I know?” I have a feeling I’m still not going to get my point across.

“A bunch of people from our old school-Megan, Billy, Joe, Dave, Carrie… Come on Maya! You haven’t seen them in like a year!”

I sigh. “Fine. I guess. Yeah. Whatever.”

“Good! Ok, so bring your swimsuit and towel and stuff to class tomorrow. We’re all just going to walk there. I can’t wait!”

“Neither can I.” I only sound half as enthused as her.

We say our goodbyes, and I hang up the phone. I look around my room. It’s so boring. I miss Taz’s room. The walls are covered in paintings, and it’s all around gorgeous. She has different murals on each wall. One of them features her friends, but she drew me in the center with rays of light radiating off of my body. I remember how much I giggled when I first saw it. It was weird, seeing an almost life size replica of me whenever I turned around.

I sigh and sit back down on the bed. After a few minutes I flop down, and turn on the TV. I press the play button for the VCR and smile to myself as The Empire Strikes Back comes onto the screen. This is one of my favorite movies of all time. I watch as Han Solo starts to talk to Princess Leia in the Millennium Falcon.

Taz always used to re-enact this scene with me. She found it so funny that I love this particular part so much that I watch it over and over, so she finally learned the lines and used them on me whenever I was mad at her.

“Hey, your worship… I was only trying to help.” Han Solo defends himself as the Princess pushes him away.

“Will you please stop calling me that?” Leia is still struggling.

“Sure, Leia.”

“Oh, you make it so difficult sometimes.”

“I do, I really do… but you could be a little bit nicer sometimes. Come on, admit it. Sometimes you think I’m alright.”

Leia stops and rubs her hand. “Occasionally… when you aren’t acting like a scoundrel.”

“Scoundrel? Scoundrel… I like the sound of that.” He starts to massage the Princess’ hand.

“Stop that.”

“Stop what?”

“Stop that! My hands are dirty.”

“My hands are dirty too. What are you afraid of?”

“Afraid?” She looks into his eyes.

He takes her hand again and draws her to him. “You’re trembling.”

“I’m not trembling.”

“You like me because I’m a scoundrel. There aren’t enough scoundrels in your life.”

“I happen to like nice men.” Leia whispers.

“I am a nice man.”

“No you’re not. You’re…”

Her words are cut off as they finally lose themselves in a kiss.

I sigh. Why can’t my life be like that? With someone I really love? Someone that will whisk me away to another galaxy… of course, Han Solo did get frozen in carbonite only a little while later. And they didn’t unfreeze him for what, three years?

Leia and Han break apart as Threepio enters the room and Leia makes a quick exit.

A tear rolls down my cheek.


[nextpage title=”June 27″]
Author’s Notes: Here it is, yay! Kind of short, but oh well… I am working on another fic that is much more important! This chapter is more to estab—*stops and looks at Star guiltily* … set up Colby’s role in Maya’s life. Don’t act as if I’m giving away a secret! You already know what the bastard is going to do!

Dedication: The word ‘establish.’


I groan quietly and pinch away a bit of fat on my stomach. Lucky me, isn’t it? I had brought a regular one-piece suit, but after putting it on rediscovered a rip in the side. I hadn’t worn this swimsuit in ages, I knew about the rip, but had completely forgotten about it. Allyson had seen my dilemma and somehow managed to talk me into using the extra suit she brought.

Ally has a perfect body. Of course the suit is a two-piece.

I sigh, and open the bathroom door. I wrap a towel around my body. I guess I don’t really look bad, it’s just that I’m self conscious by nature. I hate wearing bikinis around people I don’t know. I think the only person I don’t feel embarrassed around is Taz. Of course.

I walk down the hallway. The house is huge but kind of like one big circle. I think I can find my way back out to the pool without any help.

I finally make it back to the kitchen after losing myself a few times. Our host Colby is standing it the fridge. He looks up as I enter the room.

“Oh hey cutie!” He gives me a lopsided grin.

“Um, hi.” I’ve actually been trying to avoid talking to this guy. In class earlier he tried to be my partner for our daily exercises, but I quickly paired with my friend Megan. At his house I’ve busied myself with changing and stuff. This is going to be the first conversation we’ve ever had.

“What’s with towel?” He asks.

“Um, oh, nothing, I just—” Damn me for being easily flustered. It’s not like I’m attracted to him or something. He’s cute, I can say that much. His black hair is kind of shaggy and scruffy looking, in the ‘I’m too cool to style my hair’ way. His bright green eyes stand out on his pale skin under a few strands of his hair. He has a few chains around his neck in typical cool guy fashion. He’s still flashing me a dazzling smile. Very cute, yes, but not my type at all.

“Can’t get out a sentence?” He asks, walking towards me.

“Um, something like that.” Dammit Maya, start a sentence without saying “um”! You’re going to make him think you’re a bashful young girl just begging for him to take her flower!

“You should take that towel off, you can’t swim with it around you like that.” He smirks, leaning against the counter about a foot away from me.

“Yeah, I was gonna take it off when I got outside.” I motion to the noise. Our friends are splashing and playing around in the water. I think I actually want to join them.

“Hey, you might as well do it now.” He shrugs.

“Well, I—” Before I can finish my sentence he rips the towel away from me. I stare at him in shock. I’m now standing clad only in Ally’s tiny bikini.

“See now, that wasn’t so bad, was it?” Colby laughs, keeping the towel away from me.

I cross my arms over my chest in resignation. I can see him moving his eyes up and down my body. It’s positively disgusting. His gaze stops on my stomach. He leans forward and points.

“What’s that?”

I look down. “Birthmark.”

“It looks like a butterfly.” He remarks, keeping his finger on my skin.

Yeah, it does. I remember how much Taz freaked out when she saw it. It’s an interesting coincidence that she is positively intrigued with that creature, and I happen to have a birthmark in its shape.

I back away from him, slightly uncomfortable with the contact.

“Oh, sorry. Didn’t know you were burned by my touch. Although, I do seem to have that effect on most girls. I guess I’m just that hot.”

Wow, this guy is amazingly cocky. I give him a skeptical look, and grab for my towel again.

He snatches it away, grinning. I walk forward, and make another attempt. He hops up onto the counter, sitting on it. I try to pull it away from under him.

I stop what I’m doing as he starts laughing. Oh god. I really hope he doesn’t think I’m flirting with him…

Ally comes in through the sliding glass door.

“Hey you two!” She stops and gives me an approving look. “Good, I’m glad that suit fits nicely!”

“Yup, it sure does.” Colby hops off of the counter, taking my towel with him. “Now come on Maya, you can’t show off that lovely body from the kitchen.”

I sigh and let Ally drag me outside. I hate men.


[nextpage title=”June 30″]
Author’s Notes: *sigh* I gave up Breeze for this? Oh well, I guess it’s not that bad. You hated Colby before? Get ready to want to punch the f*cker. Why did I put that star there? I’ve used the word enough… anyway, read.

Dedication: Alison for being a great friend. Even if she’ll never read this.


“So, did you like the movie?” Colby puts his hand on my lower back as we make our way out of the theater.

“Yeah, it wasn’t bad.” I know I sound uncomfortable. I hope he knows it too. I don’t like where his hand is. I’d prefer if he didn’t touch me at all, but if he’s going to, I don’t want it so close to my butt.

As if on cue from my thoughts, his hand slips down a few inches.

I smother my sigh. How did I get myself into this mess?

Oh yeah. Allyson, of course, had talked me into it. Three days of incessant nagging and gross looks from Colby. I thought guys could be a little more discreet. I remember how hard Taz tried to hide her crush on me. She was so jumpy and stuff when I was around, it was adorable.

I’m not sure why that has any relevance, I just like remembering her.

Colby, his hand still on my rear end, turns to smile at me. “Where do you wanna go?”

I shrug. He probably wouldn’t like the answer ‘home’.

“Well, how about we grab a soda or something and just go walking a little?”

“Yeah, sure.” How bad could that be? It would probably be faster than doing anything else.

Colby and I start to walk through a park. Much to my relief, he moves his hand. It stops around my waist. Not perfect, but better.

“On second thought, do you just want to sit here?” He asks.

I look around. Yeah, I guess it couldn’t be too bad. Although now I’m going to have to listen to his bragging.

We sit on a bench, his arm on the back around my shoulder.

“You’re quiet.” He grins. “I like that. It’s hot, in that mysterious ‘I’m-a-secret-temptress’, sexy way.”

That’s nice. I force a smile onto my face as an answer. Jesus, stop hitting on me already!

He opens his mouth, as if to say something, and then closes it again. Good, I don’t want to have to hear you brag, you asshole!

Then he does something that I’m really not expecting.

He leans over, and kisses me square on the lips. Within seconds, his tongue is in my mouth and his hand is on my breast.

WHAT THE HELL?

What is he doing?! What… what is this?! We’re on our first date, which can hardly even be called a date, and… he’s not supposed to be doing this!!!!!!

Colby backs up for a second, panting slightly. The little fucker already has a hard-on! This is way too disturbing, and I have to leave before it gets even worse.

I’m glad that I have my watch, because if I didn’t I wouldn’t be able to check it. I feign surprise at the time, and clap a hand over my mouth.

“Oh, Colby, I’m so sorry! I have to get going, my mom wanted me home by 10.”

He looks disappointed. “Oh, well, I can walk you there if you want.”

“Yeah, sure.”

I can deal with that. I’d rather he did that instead of me having to walk by myself and be prey for the creepy teenage boys in my neighborhood.

We get up and start to walk towards my house. His arm places itself firmly around my waist, every once in awhile brushing my butt.

I hate boys. I hate boys. I hate boys.

We reach my doorstep in about fifteen minutes. Colby wraps his arms around me, and I can tell he’s preparing to give my intestines a thorough cleaning again. I quickly turn my head, and he follows my gaze.

“I think my mom’s watching… I’m really sorry, Colby. I’ll see you in class tomorrow, though.” I give him an apologetic smile.

“Yeah, that’s cool.” He doesn’t seem fazed at all by my outright lying. Jeez, can’t he take a hint? “I’ll see ya.”

He gives me a ‘quick’ kiss on the lips, and strolls off. I let myself into the house.

“How was your date, honey?” My mother calls from the TV room.

“Fine.” I call back.

“Did you have a good time?” My father asks. I can hear the sounds of the news, and I wonder if they’re even paying attention to me.

“Yes.” I yell with a tone of finality.

I walk into my room and slam the door behind me. Why am I so upset? I don’t even know. But it probably has to do with the way that I was just violated by that stupid asshole. God! I can’t even think straight.

I flop down onto my bed and turn on the TV. Friends is on. That’s good, I like that show. After watching for a few minutes, I notice the answering machine blinking next to my phone.

My mom had been sick of taking messages for me, especially since my friends had a habit of calling when I was still in school at Eden Hall. So, she got me an answering machine for Christmas last year.

I press the play button.

“Hi Maya! It’s Ally. Listen, call me when you get back from your date… I want to know all of the—”

I press the delete message button and cut her off mid-sentence. I expect to hear the three beeps signaling the end of the messages, but only hear one.

A throat clears on the tape. “Um, hi.”

I freeze. I know that voice all to well.

“I just need to talk to you. If you could call me back, that’d be really nice. Um, well… bye.”

Taz’s voice ends, and I hear the three beeps.

I pick up the phone and quickly dial the familiar digits. The laugh track plays on the TV as Chandler makes one of his token jokes.

“Hello?” The Irish voice picks up on the other end after only one ring.

“Taz, hi.”

She pauses. “Hi.”

“Uh, you needed to talk?” I ask nervously.

“Yeah. Well, actually. I just needed to tell you something.”

“Go on…” Jeez, Taz, get to the point! You’re killing me!

“Well, I’m going to Ireland for the summer, and I’m going to leave tomorrow. And I just thought…” she trails off.

“Yeah? Come on, Taz, I’m not a mind reader.” Oh, god. It comes out sounding way meaner than I had intended.

“Hey, I just wanted to see if you needed to say anything! I’m perfectly fine the way I am!” She says defensively.

“Well, you’re the one that called, you should have something to say!” I snap back.

We sit in silence for a few moments.

“I’m sorry.” We say in unison.

No giggles.

“I… I don’t know. I just wanted to tell you that I was leaving.” She says.

“Yeah. Will you have the internet?”

“Probably not often, but I’ll be able to check my email once in awhile.”

“Ok. Well, I’ll email you if I… you know, need to.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’ll see you.”

“Yeah.”

“When are you coming back?”

“August. About two weeks before term starts.”

“Ok. I’ll see you then, I guess.”

“Yeah. Bye.”

“Bye.”

I hang up the phone, feeling very confused. That conversation was too full of subtext to even start to understand. I know Taz well enough to know that she meant more than what she said. The question is, what did she want to say?

I sigh, and the phone rings again. I pick it up quickly.

“Hello?”

“I forgot to tell you to have a good summer.” Taz sounds uncharacteristically nervous.

“Oh. Well, thanks. You too. Pick me up a rock or something from Ireland.”

“Ok, I will.”

“Bye?”

“Bye.”

We hang up again, and I’m left even more confused than before.


[nextpage title=”July 7″]
“Come on, Maya.” Allyson pleads.

“For the fourth time, no.” I tell her. “And why are you so insistent? If you think he’s that great, why don’t you date him?”

“Oh, please…” Allyson groans. “First of all, we already tried that during last year. He’s not my type, I’m not his. Plus, you know I have something going on with Dave.”

I sigh. “Look. I just don’t want to. He’s not my type either!”

“You’ve been out with him four times in the last week. You can’t say you don’t like him at least a little.”

I have to stop and think about that. It is true. After I got over my initial fear and disgust of him, I found that he was really not a bad guy. A little pushy, a little horny, and sometimes a little full of himself, but still pretty sweet. He’s also really funny, and very talented when it comes to drama. He does the best impressions!

“See… I knew it!” Ally says happily.

“I didn’t say anything. I don’t want to date him. He’s a jerk.” I mutter.

“He is so not a jerk. Well, he is, but not when he’s head over heels for a girl, like he is for you.”

“He’s not head over heels for me. All he likes is my body.”

“That’s not true! Even then, so what? You get with him for the summer, have some fun, then go back to school and date some preppy intelligent boys like you must have last year.”

I roll my eyes. Taz… let’s see… preppy? No. Intelligent? That can be disputed. Boy? Definitely not. Truthfully, there are no guys that strike my fancy at Eden Hall. If I did have to date a guy, well, maybe I wouldn’t mind if it was someone like Colby…

I quickly clear my mind, realizing what I’m contemplating.

“Look, Allyson. I just wouldn’t work, because well…” I stop, knowing that it’s time to try a different tactic. Ally’s one fault is that she is a hopeless romantic. “What if I really fall for him? You know, if we really hit it off, if we even… fall in love? What then? I’ll just have to go back to school in two months and we both know he’ll never wait for me to come back.”

Ally pauses. When she starts again, she sounds a little regretful. “Yeah. You’re right. That… yeah.”

My call waiting beeps.

“Ally, I gotta go. I’ll talk to you later.” I don’t know who it is, but anyone has to be better than Allyson.

“Yeah. See ya.”

She hangs up and I click over to the other line.

“Hello?”

“Hello! Is the woman or man of the house available?”

I sigh to myself. “No, I’m sorry, they’re out at the moment.”

“Well. That’s fine. Are you old enough to—”

I turn off the phone. I hate telemarketers. I stretch for a second, and then get off my bed. I walk downstairs into the kitchen and open the freezer to get a strawberry Popsicle. I’ve only just thrown away the wrapper when the phone rings again. I groan, and pick it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey. Maya. Hi.” It’s Colby. He sounds odd.

“Oh, hello.” I wonder—hope—if he’s talked to Allyson.

“I… I just talked to Allyson.” Well, I guess that answers my question. Not that it was actually a question.

“Oh. Ok.” What else am I supposed to say? Oh, yeah, that’s great, now you know that I loathe you? Sorry that a girl has finally turned you down, hon?

“I… I don’t know. I guess I just thought that we might have something good going.”

He sounds so different, and I feel a pang of guilt.

“Oh, Colby… really, it’s not you, it’s—”

“You? Oh no.” He gives a short laugh. “It’s always me. This always happens when I finally find a sweet girl. I guess I’m just better of having a little fling with those sluts that throw themselves at me.”

“Colby…” I say with dismay.

“No, forget it. You’re absolutely right. I’m sorry for wasting your time.”

With that, he hangs up on me. I take the phone away from my ear and stare at it for a moment. I reluctantly click it off. That was weird. Totally different from the Colby that I’ve been out with four times in the last week. He was strangely emotional, even though he was obviously madder than a raging bull. If you put those two emotions together, does that mean he’s… hurt? Colby Lawrence… hurt? He’s actually capable of human emotion? I scold myself. That’s mean, Maya. Before I can think anything else, I realize that my Popsicle is dripping, and I now have strawberry juice all over my hand. I quickly stick the frozen treat back into my mouth and grab a napkin to clean up my mess.


I love long stretches of silence. They mean that I’m at peace and usually happy. Of course, that’s ironic because I am my happiest with Taz… and she is far from silent.

My parents have been in Chicago all day, visiting my Dad’s college friends. They should be home around midnight or one.

I’m just sitting on the living room couch, writing. I had a really good idea for a story. It involves a girl that has premonitions, and envisions her own death. She now has to find a way to stop it. Yeah, it’s been done, but I thought it would be fun.

The TV’s on but muted. I like occasionally looking up and seeing whatever happens to be on, but I want to keep my peace and quiet. I lower my pen to the paper and start to write again.

Ari looked down at her hands and saw the blood. It was all over her body and a large puddle was rapidly forming on the floor. What is going on? She thought.

Where is it coming from? Oh god… is it coming from… me?

Then as quickly as it had come, it was gone. Ari gasped and her knees went out. She felt a pair of strong arms grab her before she hit the floor and

I jump as the doorbell rings. Dammit, right in the middle of a sentence! I close my notebook and place a pillow over it. I’m very protective of my writing, and I don’t like to leave my notebook in the open… even if no one is home.

I walk to the door and open it.

Colby stands on my porch clutching a small bunch of tiger lilies and blushing furiously.

“What… are you… I mean, huh?” I stutter, crimson rising to my own cheeks.

“You told me that tiger lilies are your favorite flowers.” He mumbles.

I gaze at him in shock. His embarrassment makes him even cuter. Dammit, no, Maya! But as I continue to stare at him, I realize that it’s true. I’m definitely attracted to him, and it doesn’t help that he just brought me flowers for no reason.

“That is so sweet.” I finally say.

He shrugs and holds out the bouquet. “I guess I wanted to apologize again for being kind of a jerk. I just really like you. So I’m sorry, and maybe… would you want to be my girlfriend?”

I have to stop and wonder if he knows that he’s apologizing for, and how he was being a jerk. From the earnest look in his bright green eyes he seems sincere, but I still don’t know if we’re on the same wavelength.

I sigh, and feel myself giving in. I reach my hand out and take the flowers from him. “Thanks, Colby.”

He shifts uncomfortably. “You did hear the girlfriend part, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, ok. I was just making sure you didn’t have selective hearing or something.”

I giggle and he flashes me a portion of his dazzling smile.

“Well, let me think about that part? I ask, and wince as his face falls. “I’ll call you in a little bit.”

“Yeah, ok. Uh, call my cell phone.”

“I don’t think I have the number.”

“Here.” He pulls a pen out of his pocket and writes the seven digits on my palm. He gives my hand a quick squeeze as he finishes. I make sure I avoid his eyes as he leaves and I go back into the house. I put the flowers in some water, and then sit down in my spot on the couch. 7th Heaven is now on the TV. I hate that show. I ignore it, and pick up my notebook to continue writing.

I can’t. My mind keeps wandering to Colby.

Why won’t I date him? Let’s put aside the fact that he’s… Colby. Ok. Number one. I’m a lesbian.

Not technically. Technically, I’m bisexual. I have liked my share of both boys and girls. So that shouldn’t be a problem.

Number two falls under the same category, but is much different and much more important.

Taz.

I take a deep breath. She shouldn’t be an issue. We’re broken up, and plus… she’s in Ireland! But… what if there is a chance that we might get back together? I would never want anything to get in the way of our relationship.

Still. We’re broken up. We’re over with. I can’t just make her be the reason that I never get with anyone ever again. It’s time to move on, Maya. Get on with your life.

I make a quick decision and pick up the phone next to me. I dial the numbers on my hand. Colby picks up halfway through the first ring.

“Maya?”

“Yeah. Um, I’d love to.”

“You would?” The sheer joy is evident in his voice.

I giggle. Why is it that he always makes me do that? I never giggle! “Yes.”

“Well, in that case…” I hear a tapping on the window.

I look over and my eyes widen in surprise as I see Colby standing on the porch, his phone up to his ear.

“Did you even leave?” I laugh as I get up to let him in.

“Nope.” He tells me somewhat proudly.

We both hang up the phones as the door between us is opened. Before I know it I’m in his arms, and his lips are on mine.

This time, though, I’m kissing him back.


[nextpage title=”July 28″]
Author’s Notes: The email addresses used in this chapter are fictional to go with the characters and aren’t real addresses. So if you send them mail, don’t blame me if some 50-year-old guy starts to stalk you.


Colby jumps on the table with a flourish. There’s a loud banging noise and the table shakes, but he grins and ignores it.

“Why, it could be Grease Lightning!”

“Ok good, stop!” Mr. Parchek says. “Watch that table, Colby. Don’t hurt yourself.”

Colby shrugs and hops down.

“You guys can take a break. I’m going to check on Marla to see how the scenery’s going. When I get back I want to see both Danny and Sandy’s in the carnival scene, please.” Our director skips off into the backstage area.

Our acting class has collaborated with the other “Summer Stage Life” classes. Acting, dancing, technical stuff, and art have all met to put on a grand production. We’re doing “Grease.” We auditioned and somehow I landed the leading role as Sandy Olsen. How ironic is it that Colby is the male lead, Danny? It’s really no surprise. He is the best actor in the class.

We don’t work together often, though. The parts are double casted and he usually works with Natalie, the other Sandy. I’m then stuck with Mark, the other Danny.

Sometimes I catch Natalie flirting with Colby. And sometimes I see him flirting back. But then I remind myself of the play and the roles that they are in. We’re acting.

Colby saunters over to me. I see Natalie scowling as he slides an arm around my waist and plants a kiss on my neck. I grin to myself. It’s so fun to make people jealous… god, I can be such a bitch! As Colby pulls away, I decide this is a good time to tell him what I’ve heard.

“This is it, you know. He’s making the decisions about who’s paired with whom today. I heard him talking to Mrs. Powell earlier… he said that we’re all working with good chemistry and it’s the carnival scene that’ll decide it.” I confide in him.

He grins and his eyes twinkle mischievously. “So we’ll just really have to turn on the heat.”

I laugh and we hug briefly.

“Ok, let’s practice.” He says, picking up his script. I know he doesn’t need it because I don’t need mine-and he has a much easier time memorizing stuff.

Colby is so much fun to be around in the theater. He is phenomenal to watch because he gets so into his performance. It is a high privilege to work with him, if you ask me. You can tell he really loves to act.

“Are we doing the song?” I ask nervously. This particular scene is the worst part of the musical for me. Sandy changes from an innocent girl to a sexy badass thing. I’m not very sexy badass-like, and I always get self-conscious. But I really want to be in the play with Colby (and show up Natalie), so I’m going to have to grin and bear it.

He nods and counts to three on his fingers. He starts the song confidently.

We’ve been working with the singing, acting, and dancing coaches every day for the past two and a half weeks. Opening night is in another two and a half weeks. One would think that five weeks is not long enough to put on a huge production like this, but putting in five to six hours a day gets a lot done.

I start my part and Colby winks at me. I fight back my blush.

We start to get into our act and he walks toward me. I shake my finger and back away.

By the end of the song we have our arms wrapped around each other. As we break apart I look around to discover that we have attracted a rather large audience. Mr. Parchek is grinning at us from the front.

“That was just a rehearsal?” he teases.

My face is—what else?—bright red. Colby is grinning at my side.

“She’s a great girl.” He pats my head and I elbow him in the ribs.

“Yes, definitely.” Mr. Parchek looks really pleased. “Why don’t you two try that again and then go work with Mrs. Gonzalez on the dance scene? I don’t believe you two have ever done that together, and it’s time to get working… only eighteen days until opening night!”

Colby and I exchange a surprised glance. There’s something about his tone that seems to be suggesting…

“Do you mean we’ll be in the show together?” Colby asks.

“After that display? Of course!” The director grins.

Colby whoops and picks me up to twirl me around. When he sets me down he leans in for a kiss. I push him away, blushing. There are too many people around.

“No time for that, let’s get to work!” Parchek roars from his director’s chair.

Colby grins at me, his Sandy, and starts to sing again.


I flop onto the couch in my living room, completely exhausted from today’s rehearsal. Colby sits almost on top of me and turns on the TV. I take the remote from him and press the “play” button for the VCR. “Grease” comes on.

Colby smirks. “How many times have watched this?”

I grin and shrug. Our director has taken a lot of choreography and lines from the movie. That’s fine with me—I watched it pretty much non-stop during fifth grade. I’ve also been watching a lot lately so I can get as into character as possible.

“You make a great Danny.” I say, snuggling up to him.

He kisses my head and winds his arms around my waist. We situate ourselves in a comfortable horizontal position.

As the movie progresses Colby’s hand start roaming in places they shouldn’t and I feel a little nervous. My parents aren’t home, they’re at work, but that makes me feel even more worried. We’ve been dating for three weeks exactly. That is not long enough for it to be right for Colby’s fingers to try and unbutton my pants.

I squirm away. He looks at me, imploring but unfazed. I shrug and turn my attention back to the movie. A few minutes later his hand is back.

I squirm away again and he sits up, clearly pissed off.

“What?” he asks.

I shrug again. “It… I don’t know. I’m not ready for that yet.”

“Not ready yet for what?” he asks incredulously. “It’s not like we were getting married… I was just trying to have a little fun, that’s all.”

“I don’t want to have that type of fun yet. I’m sorry.” I tell him, already waiting for the imminent explosion.

He gets a disgusted look on his face. “Lighten up. You’re not fooling anyone, we all know you’re easy.”

I want to say something in my defense, but I bite my lip to stop. It’s really no use. Colby gets like this sometimes. It’s better to let him run out of steam and continue like nothing ever happened.

As he rants I start to think of Taz. I haven’t thought about her much in the past few weeks. She would hate Colby. If she heard him talking about me like this, she would probably run off to find a pair of scissors to castrate him with.

At the thought of this scenario I snort with laughter. Colby pauses and glares at me.

“Something funny?” He asks coolly.

I look at him for a second. Up until this moment I have never been seriously scared of someone. But my body feels numb with fear as his eyes stare into mine.

I shake my head as an answer to his question.

“Good.” He says with a tone of finality.

He situates himself back on the couch and we—as expected—resume as if nothing had ever happened.


I sign onto my instant messenger and check to see who’s online. No one interesting… Nora, John, Leslie, and… Taz?!

I stare at her name for a few seconds and on a whim double click to send her a message.

When the window comes up it says “(*)Taz(*) may not reply because he or she appears to be offline.”

Argh.

Then again, what was I going to say to her anyway? It’s probably a good thing. But I just have the incredible urge to talk to her.

I open my email account to send her a letter. When the inbox comes up I see that I have one new email… from Taz McDonald.

Damn you, Purple. You always seem to read my mind.

To: “Maya Hansen” tickle_me_reject@hotmail.com

From: “Taz McDonald” Purple-girl@hotmail.com

Subject: Hello

Date: Wed, 28 July 22:04:03-0600

Hi.

You know, you really need to change your email address. Anyway, how’s your summer? Mine has been amazingly boring. Nan’s been sick all week, some sort of summer virus, and I’ve been stuck taking care of her. I don’t mind it or anything, it just gets boring.

I’ve been to the beach a few times. I’m burned to a crisp because I accidentally sat out in the sun for some 3 hours. You know how I get when I draw.

How’s the acting thing? Hope you’re having fun.

Ok. I can pretend that I didn’t have a purpose for writing to you, but I’m not good with tact.

I’m terribly sorry for the way we left things. Of course I feel like I had a good reason to be mad, but I’m sorry for provoking you. I was completely out of line. I want to try and work things out. I definitely think we can make it through something so stupid and petty. I really miss you, Hansen! I’ll call you when I get home.

That is, of course, if you want to work things out too. We don’t have to or anything…

Argh! Just write back, I guess.

Always,

~Taz~

I stare at the email in shock. I hit the reply button and start to type before I even have time to think.

To: “Taz McDonald” Purple-girl@hotmail.com

From: “Maya Hansen” tickle_me_reject@hotmail.com

Subject: Re: Hello

Date: Wed, 28 July 16:34:21-0600

Taz!

First of all, it’ll probably be the 29th when you get this so happy birthday!

Anyway. I’m also sorry for everything that happened. You don’t know how happy I was to see an email from you in my inbox. I’d love to talk things out with you when you get home. Call me first thing. FIRST THING!

That’s all I have to say for now, I’m really tired from acting class. But dammit I miss you too! More than you could possibly imagine!!!! I can’t even write, damn you. Argh! Write me back as soon as possible!!

Always,

* // Maya ]

My hand lingers over the send button. As I signed my name, I had remembered something.

Colby.

What am I doing? I’m dating him now! But… it’s Taz

I press the send button.


[nextpage title=”August 19″]
“So are you glad it’s over?” Ally opens a can of Coke, which promptly fizzes over and spills onto the floor.

“Fuck.” She mutters, trying to mop it off her shirt. I grab a napkin and quickly clean the mess on the floor. Once she’s de-sticky-fied, she smiles and asks her question again.

I shrug. “Kind of. It was fun to be involved, but now all of the pressure is gone.”

She nods as she drinks her soda. “Agreed.”

“Well, well, my little Sandy Superstar!” Mr. Parchek wanders over and claps a hand onto my shoulder.

“Hi Mr. Parchek.” I grin.

“I’m gonna get going, I’m too old to be partying late into the night like you young folks. But please tell Colby that it was great of him to have the cast party here, I can’t find him anywhere.”

“I think he’s upstairs somewhere.” Ally says.

“Well, just tell him goodbye for me. You girls have a good rest of the summer. Ally, I’ll be seeing you in drama class, right?”

“Yup.” She grins.

“And Maya, you sign up for this workshop next year! I think we’re going to be doing West Side Story next year, and I’d love to have you involved. Have a good time in Minnesota.” My director smiles at me again from behind his thick glasses.

“Of course.” I return the smile.

After he leaves, Ally and I make small talk again. I begin to wonder where Colby is. This are a lot of people here, but don’t you think I would have seen him at least once in the last half an hour?

Colby offered to have the cast party as his house, as his parents would be out of town for the night. The Lawrences are really lax with him. Sometimes I think they’re a little too lenient. How many other parents would let their teenage son have such a huge party this late at night, obviously without adult supervision? But oh well, he’s still a great guy.

“I think I’m going to go look for Colby.” I tell Ally, setting my drink down to leave the living room.

“You mean your booooyfriend?” She giggles.

I roll my eyes. “Allyson, you’ve had a month and a half to get used to the fact that we’re dating. And yet you still tease me about it?”

“You betcha. Now go get him, Tiger!” She gives me a light shove.

I chuckle, and start to walk upstairs. My boyfriend, who has an impish grin on his face, meets me halfway. He cuts me off before I can ask where he was.

“Hey beautiful! I’ve been lookin’ for you. Come on, let’s go, it’s too loud down here.” He grabs my arm and pulls me upstairs.

We weave through the hallways, stopping occasionally to talk to assorted members of the cast and crew. He finally pulls me into a closed door.

I flick on the lights as we step inside. I’m greeted by the sight of assorted awards, trophies, and photos. Clothes are strewn all across the floor, and a screensaver is on the computer on his desk.

“The stables of the Lawrence estate?” I ask, gingerly stepping through a pile of presumably dirty laundry.

“So I’m not exactly a neat person.” He shrugs, the grin still on his face.

I stop to look at a picture on a shelf. It features Colby as a young kid. He’s dressed up in a suit and is in the embrace of…

“Molly Ringwald?” I giggle, just loud enough so that he can hear.

“Hey, shut up. She was great in Sixteen Candles, and in The Breakfast Club. Plus, that picture’s already worth something. But just wait, once I’m famous, it’ll double in price. In fact, everything in here will be going for about a million bucks. If you want something, you can take it and I’ll autograph it for you. No charge.”

“And he’s modest, too, folks…” I murmur, turning around to face him.

He smiles, and approaches me. A few moments later I find myself waiting while he clears a space on his messy bed. He pulls me by the waist over to him, and I gently lay myself down.

As things progress, I start to wonder. What exactly am I doing here? What am I doing with Colby, at that? I know I’ve been preoccupied with the show and everything, but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t control my life. And right now, I’m realizing that this isn’t what I want. Taz never replied to my email. It bothered me more than I would even let on to myself. Taz doesn’t play games, she wouldn’t send that email without good reason. But since she hasn’t replied, I don’t know what to think.

Colby has been getting weirder and weirder. Ever since the incident where he tried to literally get into my pants a few weeks ago, I’ve found that he gets angrier with me more often. Our relationship has definitely shifted to the more physical side, and I find that being in the same position as I am right now (under Colby) is a daily occurrence.

I’m scared of him. I’ve never been terrified of a person, not my mother or my father or anyone. But he’s got a strange power over me, and in the worst sense ever. I’m such a pushover. He’s walking all over me, and what’s worse is that I’m letting him. He’s never raised a hand to me or anything like that, but sometimes I feel as if he’s definitely not above doing it.

Maybe I’ve been stupid this whole time. I shouldn’t base my decision on whether I want to be with Colby or not on if Taz and I are together. I can definitely live to be single.

Listen to me. I’m talking as if I want to break up with him. But I do. But I don’t. What is he going to do if I try?

I snap back to reality as I finally realize that Colby has somehow slipped my shirt off.

“Hey, Colby… what are you doing?” I ask, sitting up a bit.

“Nothing, babe.” He continues to kiss his way around my collar.

“I don’t think I feel comfortable with this.”

“We’ve been dating a long time.”

“A month and a half is not a long time.”

“It is in my world.”

“Colby—”

“What?” He pulls back sharply, glaring at me.

“I don’t want to argue. Let me just have my shirt back.”

He shakes his head defiantly. In alternate universe, I might find his non-cooperation humorous. However, we still happen to be in this universe.

“This is ridiculous.” I wriggle out from under him, and grab my shirt from the pile on the floor. All of my earlier thoughts seem to have given me a sort of boldness, and I head towards the door.

“Where are you going?” He asks, getting up from the bed.

“I don’t know. I think I’m going to find a way home.” I say, reaching for the doorknob.

In a two quick strides, Colby reaches me. He grabs me by the shoulders and slams me against the door. I cry out as he twists my arm out to a strange position.

The look in his eyes matches the intensity of the grimace on his face. I bite my lip, trying to fight through the pain. It feels like my arm is going to pop out any second.

He pulls me back towards him and lowers his face to mine. The kiss is rough, and I can feel the faint taste of blood on my lip as he pulls away. For some reason I’m reminded of Angelus from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

I watch way too much TV.

He pushes me onto the bed again. Again, I ask myself… why am I letting him do this? I know there is a way to get out of this situation. Colby is not that bad of a guy. He won’t actually hurt me… will he?

I try to keep my mind off what is going right now. I think of everything imaginable: Politics, the environment, the last time I visited my grandmother, a few songs by Green Day, Star Wars, turkey sandwiches, and best of all… Taz.

I bite my lip and take in a sharp breath as a flash of pain rushes through my body.

“Are you ok?” He mutters in a low voice to me. “Should I keep going?”

I decide not to acknowledge him, and close my eyes instead. As he starts up again, I try to focus on all things good.


“Thanks.” I whisper to Megan as I get out of her car. She gives me a sympathetic smile, and waits until I’m inside of the house to pull away.

Everyone thinks Colby and I had a falling out. After emerging from his bedroom, I ignored all attempts he made to initiate some sort of contact between us. Not that he was falling all over himself to be around me, either.

I can’t believe we’ve done it. Of course, it can hardly be called ‘doing it’. I more or less sat there while Colby got where he needed to be.

I feel disgusting. Like a cheap whore.

And in the irony of ironies, Allyson told me where Colby was while Mr. Parchek was looking for him.

Making out with Natalie in one of the guest bedrooms. Apparently she was bragging about it while Colby and I were off together.

I walk straight to the bathroom that adjoins my own bedroom. I step into the shower and turn on the water. After a few minutes, my tears mix with the warm stream running over my body.

Does this count as being raped? When I think of rape, I think of someone being pushed into a corner and being physically being forced. That didn’t happen to me. I think it was my own free will, although there’s no doubt in my mind that this was the last thing I wanted.

I’m such an idiot.

I slide down to the bottom of the tub, and wrap my arms around my knees. This isn’t fair. I just need something to make it all go away.


[nextpage title=”August 28″]
I approach the small desk they have out at the front of the dormitory. One of the supervisors smiles at me from the other end of the table. I recognize her from last year, she was the advisor in the building next to ours. Brenda, I think is her name. She always had a lot more patience for Taz and I than our own advisor, Rita.

“Hi honey.” She says, pulling up a piece of paper with the heading “G-J”. “Hansen, right?”

“Yup. S-E-N.”

She uses a long red fingernail to scan down the list. She stops at my name, and looks up to smile at me.

“You’re in room 5 on the second floor.”

“Ok, thanks.” I hesitate for a second. “You couldn’t possibly tell me who I’m rooming with?”

“Oh, of course!” She consults the list again. “You’re with Theresa McDonald again! You two were very good friends last year, weren’t you?”

“Yeah. Thanks.” As I thought.

I sigh as I trudge up the stairs to my room, my arms full with one of my three boxes. I always bring a lot of stuff, because I’m going to be living in this place for the rest of the year. I don’t travel light as it is.

Room 5, huh? It’s definitely a different room from last year. Last year we were in the middle school dorm, way on the other side of campus. Eden Hall is split in half, middle school and high school. The younger kids rarely ever see the high schoolers, we’re always busy with our own stuff. This year will be my first year in high school, and I guess I’m a little nervous. It’s supposed to be really different from the lower grades.

I nudge the door of my new room open with my shoulder and step inside.

Just my luck. Taz is sitting on one of the beds, taking miscellaneous art supplies out of a box.

“Oh!” She says, getting up.

We stare dumbly at each other for a few moments. She looks the same, except for a few more freckles on her face. Must be from the sun.

“Hi.” One of us finally chokes out a greeting. I’m not sure who it is, it might be me.

“Um, I have more boxes.” I drop the one in my arms onto the floor, and quickly exit the room. Real smooth, Maya. Nice entrance/exit.

I come back upstairs with my other two boxes piled on top of each other. I stop outside of our room to let two girls pass. I recognize them from some of my classes last year: Vicky Starling and Sar Torrance.

“Hey guys.” I say, smiling at them.

“Hey Maya.” They respond in unison. They give each other a glance and giggle.

I try to refrain myself from rolling my eyes. I had almost forgotten about these two. They’re crazy… always finishing each other’s sentences and laughing about really stupid jokes.

“Are you going down to the auditorium right now? We’ll wait, if you want.” Sar offers.

“Auditorium?” I ask, shifting the weight of the boxes to my other side.

“Yeah. The Dean’s having an assembly to honor some new students or something.” Vicky rolls her eyes.

“Since when do we have assemblies to honor new students?” I wonder aloud.

The Looney Twins shrug in one motion.

“Yeah, I’ll be right there.” I push my door open again and set the boxes down. I look up at Taz, who now unpacking a box labeled ‘More Art Stuff’.

“Hey, did you hear anything about an assembly?” I ask, sticking my hands in my pocket.

“Yeah, I heard something about it downstairs.” She replies, not meeting my eyes.

“Well, I guess it’s right now. Do you want to go down there?”

“Sure.” She slowly gets off her bed and follows me out into the hall, where the two girls are still waiting for us.

Vicky and Sar give us a few strange looks as the four of us walk the few minutes to the Great Hall. They’re probably weirded out by the fact that Taz isn’t really talking at all. And the fact that Taz and I are walking about six feet apart.

As we take our seats in the back, I try to make sure that I’m not stuck next to Taz. Sar, however, goes out of her way to make sure that I am. She probably thinks that we’re still friends or something, despite the obvious fact that we’re trying to avoid each other. Sar’s not usually all ‘there’, though, and you can count on her not to catch something like this.

The Dean steps up to the podium with the Board of Alumni in the background. I swear, sometimes I really hate being stuck in a stuck-up preppy school like Eden Hall. But then again, the other choice would be being stuck in public school in Milwaukee… with Colby.

Thank god I got to come back to school. It was hell having to see him for the past week or so, because I’m truly scared of him. Although he’s barely kissed me since the incident at the cast party, I still don’t want to take any chances. I didn’t even tell him I was going back to school in Minnesota. I just sort of left. Hopefully he won’t be so mad when I go back that he hunts me down or something.

I’m crazy, I know.

The Dean rambles on and on about hockey and leadership and greatness. My mind obviously starts to wander. Although I went to a few hockey games last year, I’m not exactly into the craze like most others at Eden Hall. From what I’ve heard of Dean Buckley’s ramblings is that they’ve given scholarships to some really good hockey team, and they’ll be making the JV team. Ooh, Jordan Riley’s going to be pissed… he thinks he’s assured a spot on the team just because his dad’s on the Board of Alumni and his brother is Captain of Varsity. He’s such an asshole, I’m glad that he’s not getting to play.

Taz sighs. She’s probably even more bored than I am. My attention span is much longer than her’s, except when it comes to butterflies. She’s so weird. I don’t know anyone else that can just stare at an insect for hours on end.

The Dean is now about to introduce the new hockey team, the ‘Ducks’.

This sucks. I’ve never even stayed through an entire assembly at Eden Hall, Taz and I always skipped them together. But now we’re both stuck here doing nothing.

I’m about to make some conversation with her, to ask how her summer was (or why she never called me), but a long yelp and the sight of the stage curtain falling behind the Dean interrupt me.

The crowd murmurs for a few seconds as the mass tangled in the curtain tries to fix itself. Finally a few heads appear, all sporting helmets.

A tall boy with brown hair opens his mouth, and quickly closes it. He has dirt all over his face, but the blush is still evident.

“Uh, we’re the Ducks.” He says sheepishly.

I can’t help it. I burst out laughing. He just looks so stupid! Taz is also doubled over with mirth on the other side of me.

The Ducks? What losers.


We sit on opposite sides of the room, each making sure to appear busy to the other. I’m picking at the frayed hem of my jeans, and she’s playing with one of her bracelets. Yeah, we’re real busy.

“So…” She trails off, not sure where to go with the conversation.

“Yeah.” I say. What a conversation!

“How was your summer?” She asks.

I pause to think for a moment. Taz is not going to be happy to hear about Colby, even if I did (um, sort of) break up with him. Does just leaving the state without telling him count as breaking up? I sure hope so.

I make a quick judgment call. It’s probably better not to tell Taz about him. If it comes up in the future, then I can deal with it then. Right now I’m going to ask her something that I’ve been itching to all day.

“Fine. Why didn’t you call me?” I answer.

She closes her eyes briefly. In Taz language this means ‘I have a good reason but I’m afraid to tell you’. I wait to hear what she has to say.

In a few moments she sits up to face me, dangling her legs over the edge of the bed.

“This is going to sound stu—”

“Don’t finish that sentence, Taz McDonald. Nothing you say sounds stupid to me.”

She blushes a light red and concentrates on staring at her feet. Her blush deepens and I know that she is about to speak.

Sure enough. “I didn’t call you because some things are better said in person.”

“Like?” I ask, moving myself into the same position that she is in.

“I’m so sorry for all that we went through at the end of last year. Do you think there’s any way you can forgive me?”

“Only if you can forgive me.” We’re both blushing horribly now. Usually we make up fairly easy, but we’ve never had a fight so big. I guess it’s hard to be as outgoing as we are when we’re both so remorseful.

“Right, I don’t like this mushy stuff.” Taz always seems to read my mind. She hops up from her spot on the bed and scampers towards me. Scampering? That’s the Taz I know.

Instead of slowing down like a normal human being, she tackles me onto my bed. I squeal, but let her pin me down. I look into her eyes for a second, and my brow furrows with confusion.

“What?” She asks softly.

“Your eyes look weird.” I answer. They do. They’re blue, not purple.

“Oh, right. My eyes were itchy this morning, so I took my contacts out.” She grins.

“They’re pretty.” I grin back. She looks different with blue eyes. Maybe it’s just because I haven’t seen her in so long, but now that I’m looking at her, I never want to stop. I feel so fuzzy.

“You’re pretty.” She answers.

“You’re being silly.” I giggle. We’re both being silly. But I can’t help feeling giddy… this is probably the first time I’ve felt genuinely happy all summer.

She drops a kiss onto my lips and I quickly pull her closer to me. She makes the cutest noise against me and I smile through our kiss.

Somehow, I don’t think I’m going to get much sleep tonight.


Author’s Note: This actually ties in with a chapter Star wrote in Breeze, where it says that Maya and Taz spent all night “making up for lost time over the summer” and got to classes late the next day. Speaking of Star, sorry if the blue eyes bit was out of Taz’s character or anything. I was just noticing a person with beautiful blue eyes today and it stuck with me. Weird.

Eek, forgot to put this on the last one! Um, about the Eden Hall also being a middle school thing. Star and I both accidentally made a mistake in previous chapters involving Taz and Maya… we had them as freshmen, but we also said that they had started dating a year before they met the Ducks… but they met at Eden Hall. So I had to quickly cover up my mistake before anyone caught it (and I’m hoping I succeeded!) I have more notes, but they’ll go at the end.

Ooh yeah, look…


[nextpage title=”September 15″]
This sucks.

Right now I’m wandering around campus, searching for something to do. I would write, but I’ve run dry of inspiration. Since Taz and I were reunited about 2 weeks ago, all I’ve done is write. Now I just can’t be bothered. I’d watch a movie, but that would involve being in my dorm room. Taz is at home with the flu. Who gets the flu in September? She’s been bed-ridden all day and I’ve had to entertain myself. Why’d she have to be sick on a Saturday? Argh.

I decide that it’s a nice day, and maybe hanging out by the lake would be fun.

I trudge across the campus, trying to will away my bad mood. I don’t exactly enjoy being pissed off.

I spot a familiar-ish figure sitting by the lake. Adam Banks, my lab partner in Biology. I may not be a psychologist, but it doesn’t take a genius to see that he looks a little upset. I invoke the Taz in me and skip off in his direction.

He barely looks up as I sit down.

“Hi.” I say softly. I can only stay Taz-like for a short amount of time.

He nods, and we sit in silence for a few minutes.

“Not one for conversation, are you?”

He shakes his head, and sighs.

“Where are the Ducks?” I ask.

The Ducks have already definitely made an impact on Eden Hall. We all know who they are by sight, even if not by name. A lot of them are in my classes… Adam, Guy Germaine, Russ Tyler, Ken Wu… and Taz is friends with that big one, Fulton or something. Eden Hall is known for its snobs, and worst of all, its cliques… but the Ducks have even outdone Varsity Hockey with their togetherness. It kind of puts me off, seeing how they act like they can’t talk to anyone that isn’t a JV Warrior. Another thing… it’s funny how we all call them Ducks, when they’re Warriors.

My mind comes back to Adam when he starts to speak.

“I don’t know where the Ducks are.”

This strikes me as odd. Like I’ve just said, the Ducks are a very cliquey group. They don’t usually stray far from each other. So to see a lone Duck looking so dejected is a very strange sight.

I’m not close with Adam, well, at all. We’ve talked the necessary amount required in Biology class, but we’ve never had a conversation. I kind of get the feeling he could use a friend, however.

Time to find the Taz in me again.

“Hey, did you hear about what Jenna Sanders did today?” I ask him, racking my brain for something funny to tell him.

He shakes his head.

“Well, you know how we did that lab in Bio…” I pause, waiting for him to acknowledge me.

He nods. Wow, what a vocabulary this kid has. I’ll have to get him to talk a little more.

“So I was talking to Mr. Lewis, her teacher… I had to deliver a note for him from the office. She comes up to him and asks, ‘Hey, Mr. Lewis, why are we doing a lab on Moses?’ And he says… ’Mosses, Jenna… we’re doing a lab on mosses.’”

Adam lets out the biggest snort of laughter I’ve ever heard anyone give in my life. I grin at him gleefully as he tries to control his mirth.

“That’s great.” He finally lets out. “But it’s nothing compared to this…”

He launches into a detailed account of a time he was at his beach house with his parents, and his older brother met a girl. By the end of his tale, I’m laughing even harder than he had been when I told him my story.

“And your brother didn’t even know it was still attached to him?” I let out through my giggles.

Adam shakes his head, his face almost purple from laughing so hard. “Not in the least. You should have seen his face when we told him later.”

I take a deep breath and start to tell him about some of the antics Taz and I pulled last year. Soon we’ve both completely loosened up and are trading stories about different moments in our life.

As he tells me about an experience he had at some big hockey game, I smile to myself. Not out of laughter at what he’s saying, but out of my happiness.

Three months ago I hated myself. Colby didn’t help my situation much. But now I’m back at school with my girl, and it looks like I might have even made a great new friend. It’s a little too soon to tell, but I think this year is going to be pretty good.


‘Nother Author’s Note: Yeah, cheesy ending that’s not very good, but it’s an appropriate ending to this fic… because it was a cheesy no-good fic. I wanted to get a little more into her character (purely for my own purposes… I wanted to be able to write her a bit easier) and understand what she went through this summer. Basically I wanted to write something about Maya, but I’ve now realized that I can’t do something about her in Queertet verse. Or any other verse in which she’s paired with someone *snorts to self, remembering the conversation she had with her OC earlier* Well, it’s over and now I can work on Abnormal Like Me and *gulp* Something Quite Special and… YAY… Sun! Let’s just rejoice about that!

~Victory Thru Stars